King For A Day

One of the perks* of my contributor position with is free membership to the site and access to the message boards.

*Let’s be honest – that membership, and the beverages I consumed at the HuskerMax tailgates pretty much doubles what I earned from my first year of writing for them.

None the less, the message boards are fun, entertaining, and a good distraction while eating lunch.  A member had started a thread asking a simple question:

“YOU are Athletic Director for a Day.  You are in (Tom Osborne’s) chair for a day and can make whatever decisions he is empowered to make.

“What’s your move?”

Sure, threads like these are a definite sign that we are in the long gap between the bowl game and the start of spring practice.  But these are also the sorts of questions that I love – an opportunity to be creative, have fun, and throw it out there.  So with that said, here is how I’d spend the day:

  • 8:00  A big day should start with a big breakfast at the training table.  I’m thinking waffles, bacon, and maybe some biscuits and gravy.
  • 8:30  Talk to the ticketing folks and set up 4 perminent seats (hey – this is only a one day gig)
  • 8:45  While I’m at the ticket office, it’s time for big changes.  The students are now in the lower sections of West – right behind the other team’s bench.  The big money (and blue hairs) can move over to East.  Finally, one skybox is set aside and donated to charity for each game.  Team Jack, Make A Wish, cancer patients, folks on their death bed, you name.  Everybody deserves to see a game at Memorial Stadium.
  • 9:30  A friendly chat with Doc.  I’ll let him finish out the season, but then it is time to move in a different direction.
  • 10:00  Need some positive energy.  Raises for John Cook, Ron Brown, Connie Yori, and other coaches who have brought home a conference championship in the last 5 years.
  • 11:00  Recess.  Fire up the Tunnel Walk, cause I’m running out on to the field.  Hopefully Tommie will be around and can throw me some passes and a few option pitches.  See if any volleyball players feel like a game on the sand court.
  • Noon  Lunch with Osborne and Larry the Cable Guy.  Because I can.
  • 1:30  Check email and Facebook.
  • 2:00  Ideally, I’d call off the Frank Solich tribute, but since I know T.O. would just reinstate it, I’ll schedule a Danny Nee appreciation night.  Same thing.
  • 2:30  Head over to Huskers Authentic and do my Christmas, birthday, and Groundhog’s Day shopping with the AD’s Discount.
  • 3:30  Call Dan Beebe with a job offer.  Laugh and hang up.
  • 3:35  Head back over to ticket office.  Probably should pick out seats for volleyball, men’s basketball, and baseball.
  • 4:00  End of day debrief with Osborne.
  • 4:45  Graciously decline his offer to take over after he retires.
  • 5:01  Head out to my new seats, and watch a replay of the 1996 Fiesta Bowl on the big screen while enjoying an adult beverage and Fairbury hot dog.

What do you think?

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