Letter V, Letter V. Whisper Words of Wisdom, Letter V (V)

I love playing Words With Friends.

And I’ll be honest, I like to think I’m pretty darn good* at it.

*Unless, of course, I’m playing my buddy Emo.  E kicks my butt.  Regularly, and with military precision.

I know multiple ways to play a Q without an U, I can dominate triple words, and I treat S and blanks like the winning lottery tickets they are.  Heck, it’s like I wrote the definitive guide* on How To Win at Words With Friends.

*Definitely the definitive guide on this website, and likely the best one that Bing can find.

But there is one thing that trips me up and leads me into a mild state of panic:

The two V tiles in every game.  I dread getting a V.  I struggle to play them, and it feels like I’m stuck with them for round after round until dump them for a relatively low point play.

v   v   v

I wish I knew what kind of voodoo vex  the letter V has placed on me.  When I view one in my rack, my vision enters a vortex of vertigo, a volley of vulgar words invade my brain.  I vary on if I want to vomit or feel like drinking a vat of vegan vodka.

Why such venom and vitriol for V?  Why does it create a void on my vibe, a virtual volume of viruses than visit me like visions of seventy-five vomiting virgins?  How to voice the very bad vibes of V?

Invariably, it is because my visions of V (playing very valuable words like Valence, Voyager, Varactor, or Variant) vanish into vapid voids of three-letter words (Van!  Vat!  Vet!) and four letter words that end in -AVE, -IVE, or -OVE.

In other words, I want to be on the V varsity, where my Vees and vowels combine to vaunt the velvety velour of my verbal vitality.  Instead, my plays are vanilla and reveal a virtuoso virility somewhere between an MTV veejay and a piece of veal.

Maybe it is my vanity, but I’d like to believe that I have the mental vitality, the voracity of vocabulary to vend my Vees with valor and velocity.

Stupid V

Is there a vaccine for my barely visible V vocab, or do I need to vary the voltage valve on my vanity?  Is there a vehicle to veer me away from the three-letter void I vanish into?  A viral video I can view?

Perhaps if I took my Visa to a vendor of verbs I could alter the vector of my V viscosity.  Is there a personal V valet  I can hire that works for Velveeta, vitamins, and vegetables?  Can I balance on the verge of vulgarity and only play words like vagina and vulva?*  Am I being to vague?

*Sorry Mom.

This is what vexes me.  I value the vast volume of vertical space on my Words With Friends board.  Therefore I vow to vastly boost my V valor with a veritable variety of vigor, Eddie Vedder vinyl, and box vino from a vintner in a villa by Valentine, Neb.

I’m vying for victory, as well as the vase of virtual violets bestowed upon the victor via a visage of violins and violas.

Or, if I ignore all of this I can play “ROVE” for like eight points.  That’s pretty good, isn’t it?

v   v   v

(Author’s note:  Wondering why there is a random letter in parentheses in the title of this post?  Not sure how this post corresponds to the daily letter in the April A to Z Challenge?  Like clicking on links?  These questions are all answered here.)

Redundancy With Friends

Recently, I saw one of the stupidest product announcements I’ve ever seen:  A new board game based on Words With Friends.

All together now…

WE ALREADY HAVE THIS – IT IS CALLED SCRABBLE

Whew.  Sorry for shouting there, but c’mon.  This is such a dumb idea that I was initially convinced that it was a hoax/prank.

So let’s see…a popular board game is ripped off to become a popular online game, which is now going to be made into…a board game.  This just makes my head hurt.

Based on this, I’ll be expecting the following products to be launched soon:

• A print edition of Wikipedia (printed in erasable ink, naturally)
• Gmail postage stamps
• An Amazon.com catalog and/or retail store
• The eBay Garage Sale kit
• iTunes Mix Tape creator tape deck
• Memory cards for your digital camera designed to replicate the film experience – they only hold 24 or 36 pictures and you cannot view the pictures until 1 hour after you drop off the memory card at Walgreens.
• 1-800-GOOGLE (live operators are standing by)

What other technical de-vances have I missed?

How to win at “Words With Friends”

When I got my smart phone a few months ago, one of the first apps I downloaded was Words With Friends, a great game that has all of the fun of Scrabble without the watching paint dry boredom that comes from waiting for your opponent to play.  I was hooked after my first game, and now Words is a big part of my online day.  I’m playing against high school classmates, college buddies, and people on both coasts.

One of the reasons I like Words With Friends so much is because I’m good at it.  I am not a boastful person by nature, so let’s just say that I do alright in my games.  Words doesn’t have a stats feature (which the nerd in me would really love) but I would modestly guess that I win over 80% of my games.  And trust me – it is definitely NOT because I’m playing against a bunch of idiots.  While a big chunk of WWF success comes down to luck – having the right letter(s) at the right time – the majority of wins and losses comes down to the skill of the player.

Here are my 10 ways to win at Words With Friends: