On Wednesday, it was reported that former Nebraska defensive coordinator (and fired Florida Atlantic head coach) Carl Pelini had expressed interest in coaching a high school football team in Des Moines, Iowa.
In an interview with the Des Moines Register, Pelini explained his interest (he wants a job that allows him to be relatively close to his children in Nebraska). He also gave some insight into the recluse-esque lifestyle he’s led since being fired from FAU:
“I came back to Lincoln (Neb.), kept to myself. I don’t even go to restaurants,” he said. “I spend (almost) 100 percent of time with my children, I teach school at the community college here. For about 15 months, I just have lived liked a hermit.”
Jokes aside, I do feel for the guy. Say what you will about some of the choices he has (allegedly) made, it still sucks to not be able to do the thing you love and want to do. Plus, it would be really hard to live in a city like Lincoln and not enjoy some of the wonderful local restaurants (Honest Abe’s, C. Berry’s, Lazarri’s, Sebastian’s Table, and Lazlos, to name a few).
But there was one quote from the interview that left a bad taste in my mouth:
“It’s hard to be a Pelini in Nebraska.”
Setting aside the obvious fact that nobody is forcing the architect of Carlfense to reside in the Good Life (or whatever we’re calling it this year), the simple fact remains that there are things harder to be in Nebraska than a Pelini.
Without further ado, I give you the Top Ten Things Harder Than Being A Pelini In Nebraska:
10. Being an (alleged) adulterer and drug user trying to write a children’s book in Nebraska.
9. Being a Jaysker in Nebraska.
8. Being a liberal democrat in Nebraska.
7. Being a fan of consistent, moderate weather in Nebraska.
6. Being a fan of Iowa Hawkeye football in Nebraska.
5. Being a flamboyant homosexual in Nebraska.
4. Being a homosexual in a committed relationship in Nebraska.
3. Being a hater of Nebraska football in Nebraska.
2. Being unable to find work when your last job didn’t pay $472,500 a year in Nebraska.
1. Being a Cosgrove, Pederson, or Callahan in Nebraska.