Blurt and Ernie (e)

In a perfect world, Ernie Chambers could make his points without controversial hyperbole.

During a recent committee hearing in the Nebraska Legislature, State Senator Ernie Chambers said “My ISIS is the police. Nobody from ISIS ever terrorized us as a people as the police do us daily. And they get away with it.”  In the same remarks, Chambers said that he does not own a gun, but if he did, he would use it for protection against the police:  “I would want to shoot him first and ask questions later, as they say the cop ought to do.”

Naturally, Chambers’ remarks have been denounced and criticized by fellow senators, Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts, police chiefs and unions, and people all across Nebraska.  The story drew national headlines after an article on Nebraska Watchdog was picked up by Fox News.

It’s pretty easy* to condemn Chambers for these outlandish comments.  No police force in the United States comes close to the heinous acts of violence and terror committed by ISIS.  It’s unthinkable for any elected official to suggest violence against police officers.  Therefore, the condemnation has been loud and prolonged – to the point where a state senator interrupted a parade of floor speeches attacking Chambers with an admonition to “get on with the people’s business.”

*Not to be lost in the rebukes of Chambers – especially from those calling for his censure or resignation – is the fact that Nebraska’s longest-serving senator is not a popular figure in the state.  Chambers is widely regarded as a master of Unicameral’s rules and procedures, and he regularly uses them to kill bills that he disagrees with.  One of the first, and loudest voices in this current controversy belongs to Senator Beau McCoy, who has been on the receiving end of Chambers’ ire.  

I’m not saying that this controversy is without merit, nor that McCoy is only pushing the issue because he has a grudge with Chambers.  But I do think that some of the people calling for Chambers to resign are being opportunistic having sensed a rare chance to have a thorn in their side removed.  It can easily be argued that Nebraska’s term limits legislation, approved by voters in 2000, was directed at removing Chambers from office.

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There is an uncomfortable truth about Ernie Chambers’ ISIS comments:  In the context of the remarks, he kind of has a point.

Consider:

The comments took place during testimony on LB635, which would allow concealed carry permit holders the right to carry a concealed handgun in an establishment deriving 1/2 of profits from alcohol – i.e. most bars and restaurants.  You can watch the hearing in question here:  (Skip forward to the 51:00 mark).

During the testimony, State Senator Tommy Garrett was asked “what are (concealed carry advocates) afraid of?”  Senator Garrett’s response references ISIS and the Taliban.  I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a bar or restaurant in Nebraska – particularly in the small towns west of Lincoln – but the odds of running into a member of any international terror group in say, Kimball or Neligh are Powerball-esque.

In his remarks, Senator Chambers referenced two former Lincoln Police Department officers who were dismissed for excessive force.  According to Chambers, one was recruited by the Nebraska State Patrol, and the other by the Lancaster County Sheriff.  Chambers, a black man representing a largely African-American district in Omaha, also noted the racism that can occur on police forces.

In my mind, the point Senator Chambers was trying to make is that for many people (particularly people of color in his district), they are much more likely to be injured, shot, or killed by a member of law enforcement than by ISIS or any other terrorist group.

With all due respect to the friends and acquaintances I have who serve honorably in various Nebraska law enforcement agencies, I would agree with that presumed point.  I’m in no way implying that cops in this state are dirty, racist, or seek out opportunities to be violent.  It’s just that compared to Senator Garrett’s example of ISIS as a justification for expanding concealed carry rights, the police do represent a bigger threat to the safety of citizens.

That may not be easy to hear, and you may not choose to believe it.  It’s definitely not an absolute truth, but one would be foolish to pretend racism and excessive force doesn’t exist.  In my mind, the police are far less of a threat than drug users, gang members, and the mentally unstable.  But of course, I’m a 40-year-old white guy who lives in southeast Lincoln – not a 20-year-old black man in north Omaha, so my worldview is limited.

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Does the possibility that Ernie Chambers had a legitimate point – whether or not you agree with it – excuse or dismiss what he said?

No.  They don’t.  And that is where Senator Chambers failed.

Chambers’ claim of two officers excused for excessive force being recruited by other law enforcement agencies is, if true, rather concerning to me.  But those claims have been all but lost in the coverage of this incident.  Why?  Because of bombastic and hyperbolic nature of the “my ISIS is the police” sound bite.

A handful of people saw through the rhetoric of a man who once tried to sue God.  Former Lincoln chief of police, Tom Casady, tweeted that Chambers was “far more likely to give birth than shoot a police officer.”  Another senator, Les Seiler, said the remarks were “Ernie being Ernie”.  But this time, Chambers went too far in an attempt to make his point.

In today’s society, the media and the public will focus on the outrageous (and our need to be outraged) than on things that may truly be wrong.

In a perfect world, Senator Chambers could make his points without stirring up a tornado of controversy.

 

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(Author’s note:  Wondering why there is a random letter in parentheses in the title of this post?  Not sure how this post corresponds to the daily letter in the April A to Z Challenge?  Like clicking on links?  These questions are all answered here.)

I’m No Hero

Ever since we first announced our intention to adopt, we regularly hear various people tell us we’re wonderful, saintly people because we chose adoption.  They believe we’ve given our kids a much better life than what they would have known.  I’ve heard words like “hero”, “brave”, “angel”, and others used to describe our role as adoptive parents.

This sentiment amuses me and makes me uncomfortable.  I may be a lot of things, but I do not consider myself a hero – especially not because we adopted.  Look:  we didn’t adopt because we felt called to do it, found it our social/moral responsibility, or because we were inspired by Angelina Jolie or some other celebrity.

We did it so we could have a family.  Period.

The possibility existed that we could have gotten pregnant on our own, but the fertility treatments we tried weren’t getting the job done.  So we decided to trade the stress, expense, and uncertainty of fertility treatments for the stress, expense, and uncertainty of adoption.  With adoption, we felt fairly certain that we would end up with a baby (especially considering we are white, Christian, married, heterosexual, and financially stable).  With fertility treatments (the shots, the turkey baster, and/or the petri dish), we had no such assurance.  Even if we could get pregnant, there was no guarantee that nine months later we would end up with a baby.

As for our kiddos, I’ve had people tell me that our children are “lucky” and/or “blessed” to have us as their parents.  While we certainly try to give them the best possible life, it would be horribly conceited of us to presume that growing up with us gives them the ‘best possible life’.  Plus, that sentiment is highly disrespectful to their birth mothers.  I cannot begin to understand the circumstances that led our two birth moms to choose adoption – and it’s not my place to publicly discuss what we do know – but you’ll have a hard time convincing me that the lives of our children are automatically better because we adopted them.  If people think we give our kids the ‘best possible life’ that’s only because we have an unspoken obligation to our birth moms to raise these children as best as we can – not because our “status” as middle class white people* is somehow better than what they would have otherwise known.

*Yeah, I think there is a bit of an unspoken (and hopefully unintentional) race element to all of this.  And I know there is definitely a class factor.  I think society tends to make assumptions about birth moms (i.e. young, poor, uneducated, possibly minority), just as they make assumptions about my wife and I (white, educated, professional).  Whether or not they would ever vocalize it, I guarantee there are people out there who believe that our minority children are guaranteed to have a better life growing up in a middle class white home than they would being raised by a single black woman.  I think that notion is absolutely ludicrous.  Any “advantages” we may have are perception, and are likely offset by the fact that raising a child of color outside of his or her culture can lead to a lack of racial identity.

At times, I think the “hero” sentiment is a coded way of saying “I would never, ever adopt, so I applaud you for doing something I’m too scared/weak/unwilling to do”.  This belief comes from my feelings on being a foster parent:  I’m not sure I could do what foster parents do, so I have a high level of appreciation and respect for those who have chosen that path.  Does that make foster parents heroes?  In my mind, it kind of does, but my guess is they would be just as uncomfortable with that sentiment as I am when I hear it.

So consider me a hero if you want (although you certainly do so at your own risk), tell me how “brave” our choice was (even if that is a bit of a back-handed slap at adoption), and say how “lucky” our kids are to have us.  But know that there are no heroes in adoption.  The birth moms are the brave ones, and the adoptive parents are far and away the lucky ones.

Sorry, Whites Only

Last weekend, we took the kiddos on a mini-vacation to an indoor water park – one that my son excitedly referred to as “Grape Wolf Lodge”.

Everybody had a lot of fun.  The five-year old loved the water slides, the 2-year-old liked dumping buckets of water on people, and the 1-year-old enjoyed playing in the water.  Family fun for everyone, and something we’re likely to do again.

But one thing from the trip is sticking with me.

In the room, they had a little promotion for Shutterfly.  There was a sample of a photo book and a coupon to create your own for free.  As you likely know, Shutterfly photo books are a digital scrapbook where you upload pictures to create a very nice looking book.  I’ve created multiple Shutterfly photo books, as I make one at the end of the year showcasing pictures of the kids from each month.

Our kids love books, and love looking at the Shutterfly books I’ve created, so naturally they spent some time in the room flipping through the sample book.  The sample book was a scrapbook of a faux-family’s visit to Grape Wolf:  Here are the water slides.  Here we are hugging the costumed characters.  Here is somebody swimming in the pool.  Here are the kids and their new friends in some group activity, and so on.

I didn’t think too much of it until I was flipping through with our one year old.  That’s when I noticed something odd.  As I was going through the various pages, I was only seeing white faces in the pictures.  Friends and regular readers know that all of our children have at least one birth parent of color.

About halfway through the book, I semi-jokingly said “Let’s look for the people of color in this book”.  I kept flipping pages and wasn’t seeing anyone who wasn’t lily-white.  Not finding anybody, I started over at the beginning.  This time, I looked closely at each photo (probably three or four per page) and carefully scanned the group activity photos for any children of color (black, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, hell – anything other than white).  I kept coming up empty.

Finally, about two-thirds of the way through the book, I found a woman of color.  I couldn’t really tell her ethnicity (African-American?  A Latin America country?), but she was definitely not white.  This was good.

But wait…what is this woman doing?  Oh, she’s giving little Susie an ice cream cone.  The lone person of color in the sample photo book is an employee.  That is not so good.  But at least she looked happy to be serving ice cream to all those white kids at White Wolf Lodge* for minimum wage!

*White Wolf Lodge, where your ice cream choices are vanilla, vanilla chip, vanilla mint, and white chocolate!

Now, let’s clear some things up:  I’m not “outraged” by this.  I’m not sharing this to raise a stink, or bring negative attention to Shutterfly or Great Wolf Lodge – two companies whose products and services I will continue to use.

And yes, I have mocked ads and publications that use awkward diversity pictures – you know, that group shot of the black kid, the Asian kid, the Indian kid, the Hispanic girl, etc. all hanging out in front of the student union instead of in their own racially segregated groups?  (In the past, I’ve derisively called that a “United Nations” photo).  Trust me, I’m not saying that there needs to a specific quota of minority children per Shutterfly demo book.

I’m under no illusion (or conspiracy theory) that non-white, non-employee faces were intentionally excluded, or that either of these fine companies is racist.  I’m pretty sure that the only color they really care about is green (which helps to explain the expensive prices at the lodge:  $4.99 for a side of fresh fruit at the pool bar?  Really?).

But it sure would be nice if my kids, or the dozens of other non-white kids we saw last weekend, could see themselves represented in the sample “My Awesome Vacation at Grape Wolf Lodge” photo book – even if they’re just hanging out in the background.  I don’t want them to think that the only way they could ever return to Grape Wolf Lodge (without their white parents) is as an employee.

Racial Jackassery (J)

Yesterday I became aware for the comments made by an Alabama state representative.  During a March 2014 debate on abortion, Rep. Alvin Holmes said this:

“I will bring you $100,000 cash tomorrow if you show me a whole bunch of whites that adopted blacks in Alabama. I will go down there and mortgage my house and get it cash in 20 dollar bills and bring it to you in a little briefcase.”

(A full article can be found here.  Be sure to stick around for the lawmaker’s beautiful application of Godwin’s Law at the end of the article.)

Fortunately, my A to Z challenge letter is “J”, because that quote brings a couple of “J” words to mind*.

Is his joking?

Jeez, I think he really means that.

Ignorant jerk.

What a jackass.

*Lets be honest, that steaming pile of ignorance brings to mind many other words – many of which do not begin with “J”, and very few of which I would publish under my own name.  

Before you start to think this is random outrage over something that was said by a low-level politician 1,500 miles away, you should know this:  I am white.  My wife is white.  Our oldest daughter has a white birth mom and (we believe) a black father.  Our youngest two had black birth parents.  True, we did not adopt our children in Alabama* (ours were all born in Florida), but that does not change my initial reaction:  Alvin Holmes’s comments are shocking and offensive to me.

*But after we received clearance to leave Florida with our youngest daughter, we drove across Alabama on our way home, including a fun-filled 75 minutes of gridlock outside of Birmingham.  Personally, I think that entitles me to a share of the $100,000 in that briefcase.

Once my initial outrage subsides, I find myself torn on this.  There is a part of me that will always stand up for my family – especially against those who think we don’t belong together because the color of our skin doesn’t match.  I’m sure we get odd looks and second glances when we’re out, but I don’t notice.*  I have never had anybody say anything negative to me – but frankly, I chalk that up to living in the Midwest where if we can’t say something nice, we don’t say anything at all.

*Okay, there may have been one time in the grocery store where I felt like a black woman was giving me the stink eye, but that may have just been my paranoia – or the fact that my oldest two were being rather rambunctious. 

So yeah, if we lived within four hours of the Alabama capital building, we probably would have gone to show Rep. Alvin Holmes that we are one of many families who proudly adopted black kids.

Rep. Harris, this white dad and his three black kids will take our $100,000 now.

But there is another part of me that wants to let this whole thing go.  In reading some of the other public statements that Rep. Holmes has made, it seems pretty clear to me that has a lot of unresolved anger and distrust for white people.  I completely understand that.  Alvin Harris is a longtime state representative, having served 32 years in the Alabama House.  Alvin Harris is also a black man.  Living in Alabama as a black man, I can only assume Holmes has known very real and very ugly racism and discrimination – the type of which a white kid in Nebraska, born the year Holmes took office (1974) can not even imagine.

Back in my business travel days, I spent some time in small town Alabama.  I remember being shocked by some of the things I heard coming out of the mouths of the people I was working with (i.e. white folks working in a bank).  There were not any direct slurs or words that begin with “N”, but there was plenty of things that I found inappropriate.  My point:  Racism is real in the South, and I have no doubt that Alvin Holmes and the people he loves and represents have been on the receiving end of a bunch of crap from white people.

I also know that one of the toughest things to do is to cure ignorance.  It can be done, but too often it’s not worth the hassle.  With his comments, Alvin Holmes appears to be painting all whites with the same brush.  He is saying that all things being equal, white people would choose white children, so why would any white person want to adopt a black child?  I could list off the reasons why we specifically chose an interracial adoption program through our agency, but I get the impression that would not matter to Rep. Holmes.  In his eyes, we “settled” for black kids instead of white ones.  As horribly, hopelessly wrong as he is, how do you combat that?  I don’t think you can.  Besides, I have better things to do than try to change the mind of somebody who has their mind made up. I’d rather spend that time with my beautiful children.

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(Author’s note:  Wondering why there is a random letter in parentheses in the title of this post?  Not sure how this post corresponds to the daily letter in the April A to Z Challenge?  Like clicking on links?  These questions are all answered here.)

Rejected 5K Runs

The other day, I received a Groupon email for something called the “Ugly Sweater Run”.  It is a 5K fun-run* where participants are encouraged to wear their ugly Christmas sweaters and “gaudiest holiday finery”.

Running 3.1 miles in a sweater may not sound like much fun, but consider that the run will be held in mid-December.  In Nebraska.  Outside.  But on the plus side, (and I kid you not), there are hot chocolate stands every mile.

*Let me just take a moment to clarify something.  I do not consider running distances greater than a half mile to be “fun”.  Frankly, if you consider running multiple miles is “fun”, I think you’re “nuts”. 

I’ve done a 5K and couple 2 mile “fun runs”, but I did not find them very amusing.  The only pleasure I took from those runs was from seeing how happy they made my wife (yeah, she’s one of them, but I love her dearly). 

I understand running to stay in shape or to train for an athletic event, but I am not wired to find pleasure in running.

The Ugly Sweater Run is just the latest in the current craze of runs with quirky themes (“come run while we throw colored chalk in your face!”), extreme obstacle courses (“the last two miles are nothing but mud and barbed wire!”), or events where the running is secondary to some other activity (“chug a beer at every checkpoint!”).

While you might think that the organizers of the Ugly Sweater Run are scraping the bottom of the idea barrel, you’d be surprised to see what run ideas they passed on:

Not really related, but this girl cracks me up.

• Extreme Color Run – Volunteers with paint ball guns are positioned around the course.
• Couch Potato Run – Contestants complete a 5K while dragging their sofa or recliner behind them.
• Literal 5K – Runners are issued a random book at the beginning of the race – anything from The Hungry Caterpillar to War and Peace.  Read as you run, but you must finish the book before you complete the course.
• 5K:  Literally – Held indoors, the course is cooled to 5 degrees Kelvin (approximately -450 degrees Fahrenheit).  Dress warmly!
• Man vs 5K – Inspired by the Travel Channel show Man v. Food, runners must consume 5 kg of food over the length of the course.
• Social Media Mile – Runners must complete a set number of tweets, Facebook posts, and Instagram selfies.  Progress on the course will be tracked by the use of Foursquare check-ins.
• 5Keg – Teams must push a pony keg of beer along the course, emptying said keg by the completion of the race.
• First & 10K – Runners are given a football, which they must carry throughout the course before crossing the “goal line” at the end.  Players from local high school and college teams will be sprinkled throughout the course to tackle ball carriers.
• Nickelodeon Slime Run – A 5K version of the old Double Dare obstacle course.  Nick’s signature green slime will be sprayed via fire hose if runners cannot answer random trivia questions.
• I Would Walk 500 Miles – Not a run, but an endurance test for body and mind.  You walk 500 miles while your iPod plays nothing but The Proclaimers’ hit song I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles).
• Terminal Velocity Run – In this strictly timed event, runners must get from gate B 2 to gate F 47 in Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport (approximately 3.1 miles) in under 20 minutes while toting either a small child or an over-sized carry on with a wobbly wheel.
• Fore! K – Held on a golf course, runners must tee off, run to the ball, and hit is as quickly as possible.  Then run to the ball, and hit it again.  And so on, until they reach the hole – 2.48 miles away.  Lowest score wins.
• Green Eggs and Run – In this Dr. Seuss themed race, contestants must run over and through various obstacles including a house, mouse, box, fox, car, tree, train, dark, rain, boat, and of course, a goat.
• Red Light/Green Light Run – Speakers are set up along the course and a race leader yells “RED LIGHT” and “GREEN LIGHT” to start and stop the runners.  If you mess up, you go back to the beginning of the course.
• Comedy Central’s Fun Run – In this all-star charity event, the entire 5K course is lined with comedians both famous and obscure.  Slow runners in the last pack will be trailed by Greg Giraldo and Lisa Lampanelli, who pelt your with insults about your weight and sexuality.
• Virtual 5K – Download the Virtual 5K app (available for Apple and Android!), sign in and upload a picture.  The app will post statuses and pictures to your Facebook account to make it appear as if you ran a 5K.  Meanwhile, you sit at home in your underpants eating cookie dough right out of the tube.
• Ice Dash – Held at the local ice skating rink, runners go out on the ice in regular running shoes and compete to finish 500 laps first.  Think roller derby on ice.
• 50 Shades of 5K – If you’ve read the book, you can imagine some of the…um…obstacles within this event.  Consenting adults only.