Looking For Friends In All The Wrong Places

Facebook is a strange place.

In perusing my News Feed, I saw that one of my friends had Liked a photo.  The photo was of a little cotton ball of a dog touching an iPad with his dainty paw.  It was captioned “Can this cute puppy get 500,000 Likes?”*

I find these things silly.  What happens if that cute puppy gets his 500,000 Likes?  Does he get a steak dinner?  Does he use his cuteness to rid a child of cancer?  Does he avoid death and earn the chance to grow up to become a cute dog?  Or is the originator of the image simply a Like-Whore:  somebody so desperate for approval and validation that they concoct Snopes-ready stories to get a bazillion likes.

Personally, I avoid these things like the plague, chain emails, and Wal-Mart on the weekends.  But whatever – if the image of a cute puppy makes your day brighter, I’m truly happy for you.  Like away.  Just make sure your anti-virus software is up to date.

But what caught my eye was the following comment under the picture:

Please, please, somebody love me!



No disrespect to Mr. Garibovi, whom I’m sure is a wonderful person connected to thousands of equally lovely people that I would enjoy having as my Facebook friend, but hell freakin’ no.  I simply cannot fathom the avalanche of spam, scam, scheme, and virus infestation comes with inviting 2000 strangers into my circle of Facebook friends.

Can you imagine what your wall would look like?  “Let’s see what’s on Facebook today – Ah, Zura needs a small loan to make bail, Sergei is selling male enhancement pills, Vlad is facing deportation, I can end global warming by Liking a picture of a tree, Gorat is giving away ‘free’ iPads, and Prince Malik has determined that I am the heir to the Nigerian throne!”  It makes me sad that there are apparently 3,185 people so desperate for Facebook friends that they would gladly invite Zura and his 2000+ buddies into their world.

Hopefully these people will learn that when it comes to friends – be it Facebook or real life – quality will always trump quantity.  And I hope they realize it before their PC has more infection than a free clinic in Tijuana.

*For those of you concerned about the fate of that cute puppy, as of this post he had received almost 725,000 Likes.  Hallelujah!  Cute puppy lives!  Now back in your cage, little dog.

%d bloggers like this: