men

Thought of the Day – 11/26/2012

On my way into work this morning, I walked by two….um….rather interesting guys:

Guy #1 was wearing a pair of skinny jeans that looked like they had been painted on.  While he was not fat by any means, he was also not what anybody would describe as skinny.

Guy #2 was walking a tiny little foo-foo dog*.  I’m not really sure what the guy was wearing, as I could not get past the little pink flower in the dog’s hair.  It looked like one of the flower barrettes I used when my daughter was still in diapers.

*I debated way too long on the appropriate adjective to describe the dog.  I considered “ankle biter”, “Stickless Swiffer Duster”, and my wife’s preferred “kick in the face” dog, before settling on foo-foo.  I’m not sure what breed it was, but rest assured, it was definitely NOT a pit bull, lab, or even a beagle.

The sight of these two fellows – both looking less than manly* – prompted a question:  If I had to be one of the two guys, walking around in public, which one would I be?

*I’ll be the first to admit that I am far from a macho manly man – and my wife would probably be a close second.  Name a “manly” pursuit, such as hunting, working on cars, handyman projects, or the like and the odds are good that I’d rather play with my kids, watch something on Food Network, or go shopping.  I’ll proudly own that.  But for me, the line is drawn at skinny jeans or flowers in the dog’s hair.

So what would I pick?

I’d rather take Fifi for a walk with a hot pink flower in her hair.  There is a decent chance that I could deflect the blame/shame onto somebody else for being stuck walking Princess Von Fluffington.  But if you’re wearing skinny jeans, there are very few “Get Out Of Jail Free” cards that you could legitimately play.

 

Man Card

I stumbled upon an interesting blog post today (http://thecaveatlector.wordpress.com/2012/08/13/on-being-a-man-for-realsies/).  While I encourage you to read it (as my summary is going to be woefully inadequate and not as funny as the blog post), here is the Cliff’s Notes version:

  • The blog author is taking another guy (Roosh) to task for his tips and instructions on how to be a “real man” – the kind of  man who doesn’t give a ___, thinks with his groin, punctuates sentences with “bro”, and settles disagreements with his fists. The type who has steel pipe for sale and drinks beer every night.  Apparently, Roosh* believes that if you are not always looking to hook up with women, beat up guys for looking at you sideways, or doing anything that remotely qualifies as weak, then you are not a man.

*I’m quite positive that 1) “Roosh” rhymes with douche, and 2) I’m not the first person to make that joke.

Frankly, I beg to differ.  And while I don’t need to defend my man credentials to some wanna-be alpha male who needs months of therapy, the post did stir up some feelings in me:

Thought of the Day – 2/15/2012

Given the ability to watch any movie in the whole, wide world a man will likely choose Die Hard (or maybe Caddyshack).

A woman will likely choose Pretty Woman* (or maybe Dirty Dancing).

*My good friend Deann made the following observation about Pretty Woman, which was recently being aired on ABC Family:

Pretty Woman is not a family movie. A hooker gets hired by a millionaire and they fall in love. Maybe you’re going for a Cinderella-type story, but really? Try again.

And while a woman would sit and watch the man’s movie (and vice versa), the chances that the member of the opposite gender will enjoy the movie half as much as the person who picked the film are very, very slim.

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