Selective History

The last few days, I’ve been seeing versions of the same image showing up frequently in my Facebook feed:


(source: facebook.com/sarahpalin)

Selective History



I know the message that the Republicans are trying to send:  “On issues that are fundamental to the American way of life (freedom, voting rights, racial justice, etc.) the Republicans have been on the right side of history, while the Democrats have been overwhelmingly wrong time and again.”.*

Who knows?  It is quite possible that the Republicans are right about Obamacare, just like they were right on these three other examples.


It would sure be nice if they could find a more recent example of where they were overwhelmingly right (and the Democrats were overwhelmingly wrong).  Since the infographic is about history, let’s do a little American History refresher:

  • 13th Amendment:  Passed Congress on January 31, 1865
  • 14th Amendment:  Passed Congress on June 18, 1866
  • 15th Amendment:  Passed Congress on February 25, 1869
  • Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (aka “Obamacare”):  Passed Congress on March 21, 2010

*Let’s pause for a minute to reflect on how radically the identities of the two political parties have shifted since the Reconstruction Era.  Can you imagine the Democrats of 2015 being almost universally opposed to increased rights and protections for illegal immigrants?  Or having near unanimous GOP support for legislation allowing gay marriage?  Right, wrong, or otherwise, neither of those things would happen today.

For the sake of argument (and avoiding partisan talking points), let’s assume that Republicans will one day be able to say “I told you so” on Obamacare.  Is the implication here that the GOP has not been on the right side of history in over 140 years?

Obviously, I’m not naive enough to think that the Democrats have had a monopoly on being overwhelmingly right on the important political and social issues of the last 140 years.

But here is the message I get from this infographic:  “Once upon a time, we were on the right side of history.  But since we don’t have a good example of that happening since Andrew Johnson left office, we really hope we’re right on Obamacare.”

And that really doesn’t seem like something to brag about.

Fixing Facebook (f)

In a perfect world, Facebook would continue to be a useful and relevant social media platform.

A year ago, I read an interesting post on Deadspin entitled “Facebook is Dead“*.  In it, Drew Magary opined that “anyone with a brain knows that Facebook is terrible.”

*In a hall of fame caliber moment of irony, I saw the link for the article on…wait for it…Facebook.

Why you ask?  In Magary’s eyes, Facebook is a “one time” tool where you find people from your past and connect with them outside of Facebook.  After that, the site is left to be occupied by “sad asshole zombies” – which is his spin on the perennially popular ‘here are annoying Facebook users lumped into a handful of categories’ post that half of the Internet has created (including me!).  Once people turn into zombies, you quickly become annoyed with them:  “This is how Facebook works. You re-discover people, and then you re-discover everything you disliked about them.”

Magary’s opinion seems to be based upon something I’ve noticed too:  the participants are shifting.  The early adopters – who likely make up a big portion of Magary’s core circle of Friends are increasingly inactive on Facebook.  Many of my closest friends, who were quite active 4-5 years ago rarely post/share/comment anymore.

But the biggest reason that Facebook is becoming a smaller and smaller part of my online routine?

Facebook does an increasingly poor job of giving me what I want.

As an illustration, I have my phone sitting beside me.  I tap on the Facebook app and my news feed presents to me, in order:

  • A post from a buy/sell/trade page I follow from 30 minutes ago.
  • A post from 10 am this morning that Styx is coming to Lincoln’s Pinewood Bowl amphitheater.*
  • Status update from a high school classmate from 9:45 pm, which ironically is in reference to a different social media platform (Pinterest).
  • A viral YouTube video shared by a former co-worker at 10:03 pm.
  • A Deadspin post from about 30 hours ago.
  • A picture posted by the same former co-worker at 9:12 pm.  We got along, but weren’t buddies.
  • Another Deadspin article, this time from 11:15 am.
  • A link to an article in the Lincoln Journal-Star shared at 9:38 pm by a different former co-worker whom I probably haven’t seen in 12 years.
  • A status update from yet another former co-worker at 10:25 pm.
  • A third Deadspin article, this one from 10:17 pm.

*With Loverboy!  On my birthday, no less!  Domo arigato!  Mr. Roboto is working for the weekend!

What a sad collection of crap and things that I don’t really care about.

What’s worse?  This is what Facebook considers the “top news” for me.

Now, I go in an perform the ritual that I have to do every single time I use the Facebook mobile app:  tap on the three horizontal lines, scroll down to Feeds, tab on Most Recent.  This (in theory) shows me everything in reverse chronological order (i.e. newest to oldest).  Frankly, the stuff I see here isn’t that much more interesting, but at least it’s in a logical order.  But I have to specifically ask to receive it – and even then I sometimes see posts in the Top News feed that I never saw in Most Recent.  That level of persistent annoyance is a pretty crappy way to get me to come back, over and over, on a daily basis.

No disrespect to the random folks from high school and past jobs who fill my timeline, but I’d rather see what’s new with the dear friends that I don’t see or talk to as often as I would like.  I want to see all of the new interaction from my friends (statuses, photos, shares, etc.) presented to me newest to oldest.  I don’t need to see that somebody liked a status from somebody I don’t know, made a comment on some post with 3,000 other comments, or yet another stupid affirmation or bumper sticker saying.

I get it:  Few sites – especially ones as popular as Facebook – are as “good” as they were way back when.

But in a perfect world, they would at least try.


I apologize for not being able to cite the creator of this graphic, but I cannot take credit for it.

I apologize for not being able to cite the creator of this graphic, but I cannot take credit for it.

*   *   *

(Author’s note:  Wondering why there is a random letter in parentheses in the title of this post?  Not sure how this post corresponds to the daily letter in the April A to Z Challenge?  Like clicking on links?  These questions are all answered here.)

Rejected ALS Challenges

If you have ventured on to any social media platform in the last few weeks, you know that pretty much every person in the world is participating in the Ice Bucket Challenge to raise awareness (and maybe, just maybe generate a donation or two) for ALS.

If you are one of the few people on the planet not familiar with the challenge, it breaks down like this:

  1. Person speaks directly into a cell phone camera and gives some spiel about being challenged by somebody higher up on the social media food chain.  Viewers resist the urge to fast forward to the good part.
  2. The participant challenges three friends, family members, or random celebrities to do the same thing within 24 hours or pay a bribe…sorry, I meant “donation”…to get out of it.
  3. A bucket of ice water is dumped over the participant’s head.
  4. They shriek and scream like somebody who just had icy water dumped on their head.  Hilarity ensues.
  5. Participant uploads the video to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Vine, YouTube, MySpace, Geocities, and/or some random AOL chat room.

The viral popularity of the Ice Bucket Challenge is greater than anything anybody could have anticipated.  Donations are through the roof, awareness is off the charts.  I’m not sure if it could be going any better.

Or maybe it could…

Just imagine if the folks at ALS had decided to go with one of the other challenge finalists:

  • Lukewarm bucket challenge
  • Dry ice bucket challenge
  • Rice bucket challenge (fried or steamed)
  • Ice Ice Baby challenge
  • Show me a receipt for your donation challenge
  • Boiling water challenge
  • Colonel’s 10 piece bucket challenge (original or extra crispy)
  • Mice bucket challenge
  • One big ass block of ice challenge
  • What else will you do to avoid giving money to charity challenge
  • Lou Gehrig challenge (have a descendant of Wally Pipp dump 2,130 of any item on you)
  • Lucky Bucket challenge (Mmm….Lucky Bucket….)
  • Ice Dixie Cup challenge
  • Feit Can Write U-Haul Truck-It Challenge
  • Lice bucket challenge – oh wait, that’s an old Fear Factor episode.
  • Harlem Globetrotter bucket challenge
  • Tell me what “ALS” stands for challenge

*   *   *

 Author’s Note:  I figured this was a pretty good entry in the WordPress Daily Challenge “Breaking the Ice”.

Why I Write (Y)

There is a question I’ve heard a handful of times over the last three years:

Why do you write your blog?

Obviously, it’s not for the money.  To date, I’ve made around zero dollars from feitcanwrite.com and my writing for nocoastbias.com.  I do get a little bit from HuskerMax.com, but it’s best if I think about how I’ve spent my earnings (a nice meal for my wife and a new DSLR camera for me) as opposed to what I make per hour.

So no, I don’t write for the money.  It’s not that I’m opposed to being paid (and if you need any freelance writing done, drop me a line), but with three kids, a mortgage, and car payments, it will probably be a while before I quit my day job.

It’s not about the fame/notoriety/attention either.  Don’t get me wrong:  I am an avid checker of my site statistics to see the number of pages views and followers I have.  I like it when you guys “Like” a post (either here or on Facebook).  I love it when you comment or share something I’ve written.  Those interactions mean a lot to me.  Although they are not a primary motivation, I love knowing that people connect with, enjoy, or even disagree/hate what I’ve written.

But I’m realistic enough to know that there is a ceiling.  I’m not going to be stopped in the middle of Target by somebody saying “are you the guy who writes that blog?”.  While I’m currently adding about five new followers a week, I suspect that many of them are spam accounts*.

*Unless, like David Hasselhoff, I am wildly popular in countries that do not speak English.  That is certainly possible as the song “Feit” is obviously a huge hit overseas.

I think it would be really cool to have something go viral and be shared thousands of times across the country, generating tens of thousands of hits.  But that is something that just happens – not something you set out to do.

So why do I write?

I write because:

I enjoy it.  This is the closest thing to a hobby I have.  Besides, other pursuits (golf, hunting, woodworking, building ships in glass bottles, etc.) don’t interest me.

I sometimes need it to clear out my head.  I’ve talked before about the little guy in my head who feeds me all of my good lines.  There are days when that dude has a lot to say.  Left unchecked, he fills up my brain with thoughts and ideas and snarky bullet point lists.  Eventually, these things take up so much of my internal processing that I struggle to focus on other tasks.  If I don’t get them jotted down in a post or in my virtual notebook, they go spilling out of my ears and are lost forever.

I like to share my opinion, and possibly shape how something/someone is viewed.  I don’t go political very often, because I believe political opinions are too ingrained.  (I could do 5,000 words telling you Party X is wrong and Party Y is right, but it won’t have any impact on how you view the situation).  But on other topics – specifically, Nebraska Football – I love having a platform to help shape how something is viewed.  I enjoy the opportunity to call out fans for overreacting, praise players for small things that might go unnoticed, or provide a voice of reason among the talk radio and message board extremists.  I like that a lot.  I’ve also been an advocate for adoption on this site, and I cherish being able to share our experiences and my opinions.

It is a good outlet for my creativity.  I don’t paint, sketch, or doing anything related to arts and crafts.  Writing allows me to stretch my brain, look at the world from (hopefully) a unique perspective, and have some fun.  I enjoy the creative challenge of writing a post with exactly 1,000 words or starting each sentence with a different letter of the alphabet, or coming up with silly things like rejected tributes to Tom Osborne.  Those things are great for my brain and they get the creative juices flowing.

I’m good at it.  There, I said it.  I try to be pretty humble about my writing, but let’s be honest here:  there are some horrible blogs cluttering up the internet.  I like to think that I am one worth following and reading.  I wrote my first Husker piece because I was unsatisfied by the other offerings on the web (a polite way of saying that I thought they all sucked).  I knew I could do something better, so I did.  I realize that I’m not going to win very many awards (aside from the virtual blogging awards that remind me of chain letters), but I’m okay with having an ego about the things I write.  I make a conscientious effort to only publish things that I’m happy with – and willing to put my name/reputation on.  The rest lives in my Drafts folder awaiting revisions or a trip to the trash can.

And there you have it.  I doubt there are too many surprises in there.  There may other reasons why I write tucked way down in my subconscious thoughts, but unless my loyal readers are going to chip in for a psychiatrist, that is where they will stay.

As always, I thank you for reading, commenting, and sharing.

*   *   *

(Author’s note:  Wondering why there is a random letter in parentheses in the title of this post?  Not sure how this post corresponds to the daily letter in the April A to Z Challenge?  Like clicking on links?  These questions are all answered here.)


A rant and a call to action:

On Monday, two tornadoes hit the tiny Nebraska town of Pilger, destroying much of the town and killing two people.

While the pictures of the twin tornadoes are strangely beautiful, the storm chaser video of the storms is horrifying.  The destruction was quick and brutal.

Monday night, a friend shared the image below on Facebook.


I found this to be one the dumbest things I’ve seen in a long time.  Not the idea of sending prayers to those impacted by the tornadoes – I am very much in favor of that*

*Of course, I’m more in favor of sending aid in the form of money, donations, or man hours, but I won’t discount the impact of prayer.

What left a bad taste in my mouth was the “A Share Is A Prayer”* part.  I think that is stupid.

*I wish Facebook had been around when I was a kid.  I could have used something like this on those Sunday mornings when I didn’t want to go to the early service at church:

Mom:  “David!!!  Let’s go!  We’re going to be late for church.”

Dad:  “C’mon.  NOW.”

Me:  “I don’t need to go today.  I totally shared like five different posts yesterday.  I shared for the storm victims, that kid with the tumor, the lady who lost her parakeet, the soldier in Afghanistan, and that other kid with the cancer – he’s like 1,200 Likes away from being cured, you know – so I don’t need to go to church today.”

Dad:  “I’ve got something you’ll be able to share” <readies spanking hand>.

A “Share” does not equal a prayer.  A Share equals the least amount of resistance to show that you care, without actually having to do (or spend) anything.

While some will argue that clicking Share or Like, changing your profile picture, or using some special hashtag can raise awareness and even help set an agenda for what the local and nation media covers, the cynic in me disagrees.

If you want to raise awareness, share something that provides information (such as this link).  If you want to help out, make a donation of time, money, or materials.  If you want to make a difference, use social media to challenge your friends to match your donation.

And if you want to pray, by all means do so.  But you don’t need to partake in the Facebook version of Hashtag Activism to ask God for comfort and healing.

Because a share does not equal prayer.

Prayer equals a prayer.


Top Ten Reactions to Your Facebook Movie

As you may have heard, Facebook turned 10 years old this week.  To celebrate, they are creating a “look back” movie showcasing statuses and pictures from your account*.

*The cynic in me says Facebook is actually showcasing their ability to quickly mine your personal data, but whatever.

Everybody and their mom has taken advantage of this, and it is likely that your timeline is currently littered with variations on the following status:

Here’s my Facebook movie. Find yours at https://facebook.com/lookback/ #FacebookIs10

I’ve watched several of these and some are definitely better than others.  Some are getting rave reviews, and some…well…let’s just say that each movie is special in its own unique way.

Without further ado, the top 10 reactions to your Facebook movie:

10.  The plot was a little slow.

9.  Wow, it is getting killed on IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes (shout out to Derek Hernandez for this one)

8.  I was not expecting that much nudity.

7.  If this were the 80s, it would have gone straight to VHS.

6.  I liked the book better.  (shout out to Damien for this one)

5.  The cinematography was horrible.  Seriously, learn to work a camera.

4.  I really hope they don’t do a sequel.

3.  Siskel and Ebert gave it two middle fingers up.

2.  I was hoping the lead would be played by somebody better looking.

1.  Worst.  Movie.  Ever.

Happy Birthday to Everyone!

Those of you who have befriended me on Facebook might have noticed something – I don’t post birthday greetings on your Wall.

It’s nothing personal.  I truly like birthdays* and if I haven’t unfriended you yet, you can safely assume that I like you.

*I’m on record saying that your birthday should be a paid holiday.

But I’m probably not going to wish you a happy birthday on Facebook.

Why?  Four key reasons:

1.  I’m lazy.
I have a healthy amount of friends on Facebook (around 300, give or take).  On average, that means five days a week a Facebook friend is having a birthday.  Even if I felt like taking the 30 seconds to go to their wall, type “Happy Birthday ______!!!!” and hit enter, I’m wasting 2.5 hours of my life each year.

And for what?  To become the 43rd random person to wish you a happy birthday?  Pass.

I’d rather use those 2.5 hours for sleep, playing with my kids, or concocting some silly list.

2.  My generic wishes won’t make your day any brighter.
Answer me this:  will my birthday wishes (or lack thereof) have any notable impact upon your day?  The day after your birthday, when you’re sorting through the avalanche of notifications and wall posts, will you think “Huh, Dave didn’t wish me a happy birthday”?  Probably not.

Nor do I think you’ll say “Wow, look at all the people who remembered my birthday!  There’s Dave, that creepy guy from Econ 212, Brenda that I used to work with back in the 90s…”

3.  Facebook birthday greetings are more political than personal.

Let’s face it:  saying nothing more than “Happy Birthday” or “Have a great day!” represents the least required effort to show that you care.  Or more cynically – that you noticed the list of birthdays in the upper right hand corner.

And let’s not forget the politics of birthday greetings.  I’ve often wondered if the people who post “Happy Birthday!” truly care about that person’s birthday, or if they feel socially obligated to post something.  Will be ramifications if you don’t post birthday wishes to your boss or Rhonda the receptionist?  Are there people who judge me for not posting “Happy Birthday” on my wife’s wall, (even though Mrs. Feit Can Write usually receives two birthday cards from me, each with a handwritten note)?

My rule used to be:  If I don’t have anything more interesting/original to say than “Happy Birthday!” then I’m not going to bother.  And for the most part, that worked out nicely.  I like to believe that my buddy Jeff enjoyed it when I posted a picture of a car that looked a lot like his old Pontiac Parisienne on his wall.  But since I don’t want to offend anybody by ignoring them (or trying to draw an imaginary line on whose birthdays to recognize and whose to ignore), nobody gets a cold, impersonal message from me.

Call me old-fashioned, but immediate family and close friends are going to receive a birthday card in lieu of a generic FB post.

Happy Birthday

4.  We’re really not that close.
There.  I said it.

My list of Facebook friends is probably very similar to yours in that it is broken down into the following categories:

  • Acquaintances from high school / college
  • Current and former co-workers
  • Immediate family, cousins, aunts, and other assorted relatives
  • Friends of friends and that person you met at that thing a few years ago
  • Your real-life friends

And within those groups, do you really, truly care about wishing them a happy birthday?  No disrespect to many of my fellow Gretna High Dragons, but the odds are good that we haven’t seen each other since the last reunion (or graduation day), so don’t be sad when my greetings don’t come in.  I like to believe that guy I worked retail with 15 years ago is able to have an enjoyable and fulfilling celebration of his birth without a copy and paste Wall post from me.  (And if not, I sincerely apologize).

Of my 300 some Facebook friends, I’d guess that I have not have a face-to-face conversation with over 50% of them* in the last year.  With some notable exceptions, if it’s been a year since we’ve seen each other, I’m guessing that a “Happy Birthday!” from me isn’t going to make or break your day.  If it is, then we really should get together more often.  Call me.  Let’s do lunch or grab a beer.

*I had to do the math – After doing a quick count through my Friends list, it appears as if I’ve only conversed with 29% of my friends in the last year – and that was being pretty generous in defining a year and counting emails/texts as “conversation”).

*   *   *

I get that some of you still want to leave birthday messages for your Facebook friends.  That’s fine by me.  I’m not judging you, or mocking your decision* – you get to use Facebook how you want to use it (even if it hits every single one of my pet peeves).

*I’m not mocking you, but this brilliant post from College Humor probably is.  Worth the click.

Maybe you’re now rethinking your whole Facebook birthday strategy.  Should you bother posting birthday wishes for that long-lost friend, classmate, or former co-worker?   I can help with a simple two-step test.  If the person in question passes, then post away:

  1. Without using Facebook, would you know when their birthday is?*
  2. If that person posted birthday greetings on your wall, would your spouse/partner/whatever ask “Who is this person”?  If so, then don’t bother posting on their birthday.

*A former co-worker (whose birthday is in the fall) changed his Facebook birthday to December 25.  He said that he planned to de-friend anybody who wished him a happy birthday on Christmas, because they clearly didn’t know him that well – or remember that he had a birthday two months earlier.

*   *   *

So in conclusion, my dear and beloved Friends, please consider this post your birthday/anniversary/bar mitzvah/kid’s birthday/Groundhog’s Day greetings from me.  If it makes you feel better, you may post this on your wall and tag me in it.

Happy [Event_Name]!!!  I hope you have a great day!!!1!

And just we’re all on the same page (and I don’t get accused of being a hypocrite), I’ll be clear:  I’m not going to lose sleep, be upset, de-friend you, or anything else if you don’t post birthday greetings to me on my birthday.

More Facebook Pet Peeves

A year or so ago, I compiled a list of my biggest Facebook Pet Peeves.  While some of these have slipped away – the “copy and paste this as your status if you agree” movement has mercifully slowed down – some new ones have cropped up.  Technically many of these are more about annoying Friends do than true pet peeves, but close enough for the Internet…

As before, the standard disclaimer applies:  If any of these apply to my current Facebook friends, (and you might be able to guess where most of my inspiration came from) I mean no offense.  Consider it a friendly intervention (sans the How I Met Your Mother banner).  You might get defensive at first, but I’m only telling you because I care.  If you disagree, I’ll respect your right to de-friend me (but know that I might do it first).

Extreme Partisan
Obama sucks, Republicans are stupid hypocrites, the Occupy movement was a bunch of dirty hippies, the Tea Party is full of racist jackasses, and on and on and on.  Every single post is about furthering your agenda, spreading some gross distortion, or sharing your general disdain for the other side.

Unfortunately, the only thing you’re convincing me is the next time I bump into you, I should either pretend that I’m running late or keep the conversation solely on the weather.  Even then, you’ll probably try to blame George W. Bush for the heat or mock Al Gore for the chilly temps.

Single Issue Guy
A close cousin of the Extreme Partisan.  Instead of telling me how the other party is ruining the country, you lock in one issue.  All day.  Every day.  24/7/365.

I get it:  you like your Second Amendment rights.  You hate abortion.  Gays should be allowed to marry.  While I may or may not agree with your positions, I am not coming to Facebook looking to debate issues (especially when your best argument is some ridiculous image with a bumper sticker slogan or tired talking points falsely attributed to a celebrity.

Please stop filling my timeline with your propaganda.  Of if that is too hard for you, at least try to mix it up.  Give me your rabid rantings and conspiracy theories on the designated hitter, college football playoffs, or the age-old Taste Great/Less Filling debate.

Recipe Sharer
My news feed currently has recipes for seven different chocolate-laden desserts, two pies, four casseroles, and enough quick and easy dinners using Pillsbury crescent rolls to last a month.  Enough!  Unless you made it yourself, I don’t need to see a picture of it.  And if you’re not offering to make these dishes for the rest of the class, find a better system for storing recipes*.

*Some recipe posts urge you to share so it will show up on your Wall so you can find it later.  Yeah, I’m sure when I’m trying to make a dessert for Christmas dinner, I’ll remember to go into my Facebook Wall, navigate to February 2013…wait, was that in March?…skim through two dozen other recipes…or was it January?  When was the Super Bowl?…hope that particular recipe is actually displayed on my Wall…no, I’m pretty sure it was February, because that was when Cousin Tito was in town…and hopefully find that recipe. 

Recipe sharers, there’s a site you should check out.  It’s called Pinterest.

Game Player
Please don’t invite me to play another game.  I’m perfectly capable of wasting time on my own.  Also, I don’t give a crap that you just passed Level 71 on Candy Crush Saga or scored 30 points on Words With Friends – and I play both of those games.  Here is a tip*:  when you authorize Facebook to use an app, change the privacy to “Only Me”.  That way, nobody else has to suffer through your latest “achievement.”

*Time to break out my Feit Can Write end-user documentation skills for a quick Public Service Announcement:

How to Change Sharing for Facebook Apps (or How to Keep Automatic Posts to Yourself)

  1. In Facebook, click on the sprocket icon in the upper right hand corner.
  2. Click on Privacy Settings.
  3. In the left hand pane, click on Apps.
  4. A list of your authorized applications will appear.  The middle column shows the visibility of an app and posts.
  5. To edit the visibility and posting access, click on either the word in the middle column or the Edit link to the right.
  6. Click on the drop-down list next to Visibility of apps and posts, and select the desired privacy level (Public, Friends of Friends, Friends, Only Me, Custom).
  7. RECOMMENDED:  Select “Only Me” to prevent game notifications from polluting the feeds of your friends.
  8. Repeat steps 5 and 6 for other applications.
  9. Exit the Privacy section.

Sharin’ Sharon.
Who am I talking about?  The person who shares dozens of images every day, and all from weird accounts like “Crazy Lady Duck Farts & Humor.”  Cat pictures, memes, syrupy “I love my sister/bff/cousin/podiatrist” images, and more personal affirmations than an AA meeting?  Share it.  A cute video of babies or puppies?  Share those too.

Look:  the Share button should be reserved for things that your friends want – nay, NEED – to see*, not two dozen eCards, some ugly-ass cowboy boots you won’t win, or schmaltzy inspirational images that made you smile.  That is what the Like button is for.

*Disclaimers:  If you’re sharing anything that starts with “YOU NEED TO READ THIS”, take 30 seconds to check it on snopes.com first, so you don’t end up looking like a gullible fool.  Obviously, the amazing and clever posts from the Feit Can Write Facebook page are exempt from this, and should always be shared.  Always.

I think Facebook should institute a limit on the number of shares you get per day or per month (say 5 a day and 100 a month).  Hell, let Zuckerberg sell additional shares for a buck each.

I know I did this one last time, but it still bugs me.  I am convinced that couples who share Facebook accounts either have severe trust issues or one person doesn’t really want to be on Facebook.  If there is another plausible reason, I’d love to hear it.

Seriously, it’s time.  Get your own account.

What did I miss?  What drives you nuts on Facebook?

Thought of the Day – 6/12/2012

I see that a Facebook friend has recently viewed* a video entitled:  “Best Pimple Pop Ever!”

*I should probably say “allegedly” viewed.  I’m not sure that I believe my friends are watching some of the videos that this Socialcam app/scam/virus claims they watch.  If so, I may need to take a closer look at my list of friends.

This is the not the first time that Facebook has tried to tempt me with a pimple popping video, which raises two questions:

1) When faced with a large zit (or other volcano of dermatological horrors) who says to themselves:  “You know, I should record this moment and post it on the web.”?  Do you really want to be recognized at Wal-Mart as the guy who had the zit the size of a ping-pong ball on your shoulder?

2) Do people really seek out and view videos of folks squeezing pus and other grossness from their bodies?  47 million videos on the web, and you pick these?  Really?  Are you trying to find out when your gag reflex* kicks in?

*Speaking of which, my apologies to anybody reading this over your lunch hour.  Sorry.

Looking For Friends In All The Wrong Places

Facebook is a strange place.

In perusing my News Feed, I saw that one of my friends had Liked a photo.  The photo was of a little cotton ball of a dog touching an iPad with his dainty paw.  It was captioned “Can this cute puppy get 500,000 Likes?”*

I find these things silly.  What happens if that cute puppy gets his 500,000 Likes?  Does he get a steak dinner?  Does he use his cuteness to rid a child of cancer?  Does he avoid death and earn the chance to grow up to become a cute dog?  Or is the originator of the image simply a Like-Whore:  somebody so desperate for approval and validation that they concoct Snopes-ready stories to get a bazillion likes.

Personally, I avoid these things like the plague, chain emails, and Wal-Mart on the weekends.  But whatever – if the image of a cute puppy makes your day brighter, I’m truly happy for you.  Like away.  Just make sure your anti-virus software is up to date.

But what caught my eye was the following comment under the picture:

Please, please, somebody love me!



No disrespect to Mr. Garibovi, whom I’m sure is a wonderful person connected to thousands of equally lovely people that I would enjoy having as my Facebook friend, but hell freakin’ no.  I simply cannot fathom the avalanche of spam, scam, scheme, and virus infestation comes with inviting 2000 strangers into my circle of Facebook friends.

Can you imagine what your wall would look like?  “Let’s see what’s on Facebook today – Ah, Zura needs a small loan to make bail, Sergei is selling male enhancement pills, Vlad is facing deportation, I can end global warming by Liking a picture of a tree, Gorat is giving away ‘free’ iPads, and Prince Malik has determined that I am the heir to the Nigerian throne!”  It makes me sad that there are apparently 3,185 people so desperate for Facebook friends that they would gladly invite Zura and his 2000+ buddies into their world.

Hopefully these people will learn that when it comes to friends – be it Facebook or real life – quality will always trump quantity.  And I hope they realize it before their PC has more infection than a free clinic in Tijuana.

*For those of you concerned about the fate of that cute puppy, as of this post he had received almost 725,000 Likes.  Hallelujah!  Cute puppy lives!  Now back in your cage, little dog.

%d bloggers like this: