There are five different types of magicians in the world. In order of least to most impressive, there are:
1. Stand Up Magicians – That lame magician at your kid’s birthday party who pulls rabbits out of hats. (Hopefully while the rabbit is still alive).
2. Street Magicians – The guys like David Blaine who perform various tricks and illusions out on the street while their “assistants” pick your pocket.
3. Stage illusionists – Performers like David Copperfield who do grandiose stunts like making an aircraft carrier disappear.
4. Escape Artists – Put Harry Houdini in a straight jacket, wrap that up in chains, put that in a box, and toss the whole works in the ocean. Fifteen minutes later, he walks on stage, perfectly dry, eating a ham sandwich.
5. Women* who are capable of folding a fitted bed sheet into flat, uniform shape that looks like it just came out of the package. In other words, anything other than the jangled wad of Egyptian cotton that I shove into the drawer on laundry day.
*Call me sexist for assuming that only women are capable of properly folding a fitted sheet, but I have never met a man who is capable of such sorcery. Or at least one who is willing to admit it.