Feit Can Write Interview: Tunnel Walk of Shame

*Author’s note:  I’m posting this interview both here on Feit Can Write, as well as on HuskerMax.com.  Which site should you read it on?

• If you want the PG version, (or want to help me earn fractions of a penny per page view), click here to read this on HuskerMax.   
• If you want the unedited version, where the word “shit” isn’t replaced with [expletive], then read on.

I’ve got a special treat today.

Last year, a co-worker asked if I had ever seen a website called “Tunnel Walk of Shame”.  At the time, I had not.  Five minutes later I’m laughing to the point of tears coming down my face.

For those who are unfamiliar with the site, TWOS is what the creator calls a “web comic”.  In simplistic terms, he takes a bunch of pictures of Husker players and coaches, imposes text on them, and puts them into a slide show, creating a story.  He posts a new one on www.tunnelwalkofshame.com* the day before every Nebraska game.  The comics contain many recurring characters and running gags that make the whole thing funnier every time you read it.

If you don’t read this, you must start. Seriously.

*If you haven’t seen TWOS, it is worth noting that the comics often contain language that you may not want displayed on your monitor in 48 point font.

To put it another way:  the standard TWOS comic contains more f-bombs than Bo Pelini being secretly recorded.

For those of you wanting to know “Who writes Tunnel Walk of Shame?”, you’re not going to find that answer here.  The lone condition for this interview was to not reveal his identity.

But don’t click away yet – the responses he gives are terrific:  thoughtful, honest, funny, and from a perspective that gets how utterly ridiculous it is to live and die and obsess about 18 – 22-year-old kids.  Personally, I think Husker fans could truly be the “Greatest Fans in College Football” if more people adopted his viewpoint.

Buckle up and let’s have some fun…

Who’s Laffing Now?

I’m doing my part to get rid of the remaining Halloween candy, which means a lunch time dessert of the cherry-flavored Laffy Taffy which my wife won’t touch*.

*Our marriage is helping each other out:  I eat all of the artificial cherry flavored things and she eats all of the artificial banana flavored things.  Never having to eat your hated faux-fruit candy is the secret to a long and happy marriage.

Laffy Taffy is known for the “jokes” on their wrappers.  I say “jokes” very, very loosely, as they are usually more along the lines of sad riddles and pathetic puns such as:

Why did the strawberry cross the road?

How do you keep a lion from charging?*

We all know the jokes are stupid, sad, and not funny – I mean, you have better odds of buying a winning lottery ticket than actually LOL’ing from a Laffy Taffy wrapper.  But what is really sad is they hide the answers under the wrapper’s flap.  This means you have to physically seek out the answer to why the strawberry crossed the road (and I’m not telling you yet).  You know the setup is dumb, the joke is written for a the comedic tastes of a 6-year-old, and the punch line is going to be groan inducing.

But you still have to lift that damn flap to find out.

*Sometimes you don’t need to lift the flap – such is the case with “How do you keep a lion from charging” (A:  Take away its credit cards).  Kudos to the good folks at Laffy Taffy, Inc. for taking an ancient sexist joke and replacing swapping a rather masculine animal (lion) for the joke’s original feminine subject (your wife, a woman, etc.) 

It’s not like you have to lift the answer flap to get at the rubbery, artificially flavored goodness.  As I can personally attest, you can open the wrapper without flipping the flap.  Mmm….rubbery.

But you still have to know the answer to the riddle.  Why DID the strawberry cross the road?

It is that insatiable curiosity, that I know sticking this police taser on my leg will hurt, but how much will it hurt need to know that drives me crazy.  So I flip up the flap and reveal the answer:

Because his mother was in a jam.

Ugh.

I think the punchline to all Laffy Taffy jokes should be accompanied by this.