We received a Bed Bath & Beyond catalog in the mail recently. Normally it would head straight to the recycling bin*, but I had a minute to kill while waiting for the microwave to finish my popcorn.
*I already have a bed, I already have a bath, and most their “beyond” is a bunch of crap I don’t need**
**Except, as we’re about to see, as a source of blog content.
As I mindlessly flipped through, an image on page 9 caught my eye. It is a device to be used to talk on your iPhone, Android, or other mobile phone without having to actually talk into the phone.
It’s not a Bluetooth earpiece, a telemarketer-style headset, or earbuds with a microphone. No, those things would make sense.
The product they are trying to sell is this:
Dumbest product ever?
No, your eyes are not deceiving you. It is a old-school telephone receiver hand piece that plugs into your smart phone.
Seriously? Who out there is thinking, “Ya know, I like making calls on my cell phone, but I miss the crackling connection, mindless cord twiddling, and crick in my neck that my old landline handset provided”?
Who is the target market for this? Technophobes? Ironic hipsters? People too stupid to understand what the “mobile” in mobile telephone implies? People with really big pockets? Teenagers who like the idea of screwing with people when they use this handset in their cars?
Assuming the sales of this device are strong – and really, how could an idea like this possibly fail? – look for more products in this line to be released for next Christmas including:
Operator, get me Huckledown 753!
and
It’s like a daffodil is choking a lily
and
“Dammit Ponch, stop doing roller disco and bring me a tighter shirt!”
and
Uses 8 D-Batteries. Still has longer life than my Android.
and
Sure, you have to provide his pay, uniform, MREs, ammo, and a college education when his tour is done, but NOBODY is going to steal your phone.
Feit Can Write 