Spam Comment of the Day

For whatever reason, this blog has been receiving a lot of spam comments of late.  WordPress has a pretty decent filter that deflects a lot of junk into a Spam folder, but more have been sneaking through lately.

For the most part, the spam comments I get are generic, poorly worded statements telling me that they love my blog (duh, who doesn’t?) and complementing the layout of the site (which is a stock WordPress template).  Oddly, very few seem to be trying to sell me anything*, which is probably why they make it past the filter.  I skim them to make sure they’re not legitimate, then I punt them to the trash.

*Seriously, has anybody ever purchased something advertised in a spam email, blog comment, or pop-up ad?  How many people see emails for ED meds, website comments offering designer purses, or a pop-up offering discount insurance if you “know this one little trick” and think “I really need these things.  Instead of finding a reputable vendor, I’m going to click on this random link”?  

Do companies have media buyers who are telling their bosses “TV is too expensive, print is dead, and it is impossible to have a good radio ad.  Therefore, I propose that we spend our entire Q4 advertising budget on spam emails and flashing webpage ads.  The click rate is going to be ridiculous!”  

Spamming people seems like a ton of work (and a lot of legal risk) for very little return.

Yet, today’s comment is worth sharing.  It is such a garbled mess of broken English, bizarrely off-topic messages, and weirdness that I absolutely love it.

Huh?

I’m not sure who “Charlie” is, but he sounds like a dude I’d like to have a beer with – so he can enlighten me about contractors, Democratic lawmakers and UV rays ending at my kids.

Ad Review – World’s Toughest Job (M)

Campaign: “World’s Toughest Job”

Campaign Theme in Haiku Format:

Hidden camera
Viral video has a
Surprise twist ending

Visual

Commentary

How long did it take you to figure it out?  How far into the 4 minute, six second video were you when you realized what the job truly was?  For me, it took about 20-30 seconds.  The premise of interviewing for the job of “mom” and referring to the child as “the associate” is rather clever, but it wasn’t exactly an impossible riddle.

This leads to my initial criticism:  who are these people?  Look:  if you are interviewing for a position called “Director of Operations”, I would hope you’d be smart enough to know you’re being had one or two questions into the interview.  If you need to ask if a 24/7 workweek  is “even legal”, that should be your first clue that you are either really under-qualified for an executive job or you are an actor playing the role of a shocked applicant.

As I’ve talked about in past Ad Reviews, I find myself very skeptical of commercials that employ “hidden camera” antics presumably showing everyday folks.  Years and years of reality TV have left me suspicious of any reaction that is presented to me as “real”.  I’m not saying these people weren’t legitimately fooled, but I’ll just as easily believe they were actors demonstrating versions of their “shocked” face into a web cam.

Now, let’s focus on the positives.

First and foremost: everybody loves Mom*.  Hopefully this is a non-negotiable truth.  

*Especially me.  I love you, Mom.  You are truly the best. 

I like the matter-of-fact way the interviewer describes the job requirements of being a mom.  A sampling of my favorites:

• “Constantly on your feet…high level of stamina” for “135 hours to unlimited hours a week – it’s basically 24 hours a day, seven days a week.”
• “There are no breaks available.”
• “You can have lunch, but only when the associate is done eating their lunch.”
• “Requires excellent negotiation and interpersonal skills.”
• “Degree in medicine, finance, and the culinary arts.”
• “Able to work in a chaotic environment.”
• “If you had a life, we’d ask you to sort of give that life up”
• “No Vacations…On holidays, the workload is going to go up, and we demand that – with a happy disposition.”
• “No time to sleep.”

And, of course, the kicker:  it pays “absolutely nothing”.

Those lines, delivered to perfection by the faux interviewer, are a big part of why this video has gone viral.  We all know that mom works hard, but sometimes you really need to see it in terms like this to really appreciate it.

 

Then throw in the reveal when the interviewer tells the applicants what they apparently had not figured out on their own:  Director of Operations is a fancy term for mom.  Cue the outpouring of love and appreciation and pass the tissues because it is getting dusty in here.

But…

The version of the video I watched must have omitted the part where the Director of Operations is standalone position with no assistance from the Vice Director of Administrative Duties (DAD).  Maybe this video is all about the single moms – and seriously, can we get some special recognition for the single moms?  Those women are amazing.  However, I’m pretty sure Director of Operations applicants can be married as well as single.

So what about dad?  Can’t he at least get a mention here?  Look:  I consider myself to be an average to above-average dad, and I feel like I’m doing a lot of these things each and every day.  I wear many of the same hats my wife does, including some she does not (director of grounds maintenance, pest exterminator, waste management engineer, in addition to my responsibilities running the morning shift at the home office), but to hear this video tell it, there are zero expectations on me.  Heck, instead of getting dinner ready, bathing the oldest two, and helping out with bedtime I apparently should have been sitting on the couch watching the ball game with a beer.  Or maybe there will be another version of this video in the weeks leading up to Father’s Day.  But I’m not going to hold my breath.

I’m not trying to take anything away from the hard work put in by my wife or any other married mom out there, but every dad I know plays an active (if not equal) role in the “mom duties” listed above.  The era of the 1950’s TV dad is long gone.  All I’m saying is it would be nice to at least get a mention.

From an advertising perspective, I’m skeptical as to how successful this video will be.  As quickly as you probably figured out that the job listing is for a mom, it probably took a much longer time to figure out whose products/services we are supposed to buy*.  

*My first guess on the identity of the advertiser was Proctor & Gamble, who have done an excellent job of  branding themselves as the “proud supporter of moms” through their series of tear-jerker Olympic ads.

In the 4:06 video, the first clue (a URL for www.cardstore.com) doesn’t come on the screen until the 3:55 mark.  But who the heck is cardstore.com?  Some shady website where I create an e-card that ends up snagged in mom’s spam filter?  It’s only at the 4:01 mark that we find out who the real advertiser is:  American Greetings.

In my opinion, this delayed reveal creates two big issues:

1) How many people close the video before the company name is revealed?  Probably more than you think.  The only reason I stuck around was to find out who the advertiser was, but I’m guessing the majority of viewers don’t share my curiosity for these sorts of things.  This is a great example of the old advertising axiom:  It doesn’t matter how great your commercial is if nobody knows about your product.

2) When I read the closing line (“This Mother’s Day, you might want to make her a card”), I definitely do not think of American Greetings.  I think of arts and crafts time with the kids.  Truth be told, on my first viewing, I read “Mother’s Day” and “card” and immediately thought of Hallmark.  I’m guessing that is not what the folks at American Greetings were hoping for.

Overall, this is an amusing video that will likely inspire as many tears as it does views (5.1 million as of this writing).  As a dad, it makes me a little defensive, but I don’t suspect there are too many moms who don’t like it.  Yet, I question how much of an uptick in traffic / sales American Greetings  and cardstore.com will see from it.

Grade:  B-

*   *   *

(Author’s note:  Wondering why there is a random letter in parentheses in the title of this post?  Not sure how this post corresponds to the daily letter in the April A to Z Challenge?  Like clicking on links?  These questions are all answered here.)

Rejected Nebraska Tourism Slogans

A bill (LB 1024) was introduced in the Nebraska Legislature that would erase Nebraska’s official state slogan and allow the Nebraska Tourism Commission to create a new slogan and symbol.

Even though the current official state slogan is the little known (and rarely used) “Welcome to NEBRASKAland: Where the West Begins”, this bill has raised fears as many believe the state’s unofficial slogan (“The Good Life”) will also be chopped.

Setting aside the governmental ridiculousness that a bill must be passed to change a slogan to allow the tourism folks to sell Nebraska as a vacation destination, I’m perfectly okay with getting rid of “Where the West Begins.”  Let’s face it, the fine people on the Nebraska Tourism Commission don’t exactly have an easy job and we should do pretty much anything we can do to help them out.

But if they are going to replace “The Good Life” – which has appeared on the “Welcome to Nebraska” signs for decades – it had better be with something good.  Here are some ideas that may or may not make it out of legislative committee:

• The Neither Good Nor Bad Life
• Lots of cows, but no bull
• Welcome to NEBRASKAland:  Where bureaucracy begins!
• Nebraska – Enjoy our toll-free highways on your way to somewhere else!
• Democrat free since 2004!
• Welcome to Nebraska – Kindly refrain from discussing Bill Callahan.
• Unbearably hot and ridiculously cold – but usually not on the same day.
• Home of one of the world’s largest lakes!  Unfortunately it is underground so you can’t see it or water ski on it.
• No beaches, no mountains, but lots of corn.
• Ridiculous amounts of white people.
• We’re like South Dakota, but without Mount Rushmore and Sturgis.
• The Good Wife (a co-branding opportunity with CBS)
• The Good Knife (a co-branding opportunity with a knife manufacturer)
• Come see what Peyton Manning keeps talking about.
• Equality before the law* (*unless you are gay or we think you’re an illegal alien)
• No, we don’t actually live in black and white.

• 

  Nebraska: Now in TechniColor!

• The Great Life* (*when the football team is winning)
• Nebraska:  Where Midwestern stereotypes begin!
• Sure, we can put gravy on that.
• Nebraska – Not just for flying over anymore!
• So much better than Iowa.
• Red clothing not required, but strongly recommended.
• Corn in your car, on your head, and in everything you eat.
• Life in Nebraska – Mikey likes it.
• So much more than a mediocre Springsteen album.
• Nebraska:  We can tax that.
• Nebraska – A great place to stop on your way to wherever you’re going.
• See your food before it is processed with a bunch of crap!
• Our third largest city is only open seven days a year.
• Come and let us laugh at your accent!
• Where else ya gonna go?  Kansas?

Fireworks! Get Your Illegal Fireworks!

Driving around Lincoln recently, I saw a billboard that caught my eye.

It was for the “Fireworks Emporium” in Rock Port, Missouri

The sign describes the Emporium as the “Home of the ‘Really Good Stuff'”.  What does that mean?  While they don’t specify anything, they do hint at it by mentioning their stuff is “NOT available in Nebraska!”  In other words, things that are allowed under Missouri law, but not by Nebraska / Lincoln laws (bottle rockets, M-80s, among others).

I was able to get a low-quality picture of the sign with my phone before the light turned green:

Come get your illegal fireworks!

I am struck by the message, and I admire the balls behind this billboard.

They are saying:  “Look – we know that Nebraska, and especially Lincoln, have some pretty restrictive fireworks laws.  But we also know that you want to celebrate the Fourth by blowin’ up some stuff that is bigger, louder, and more awesome than what you could find in Lincoln.  So take a short 80 mile drive down to Missouri and stock up on some seriously good stuff – the stuff that will impress your friends, scare the neighbors, and risk your fingers.  Sure, much of what we sell is illegal where you live.  But we don’t care.  Just like you don’t care.  So since you’re going to break the law,  you might as well do it right – with us.”

In short, this billboard is saying, “Come buy your illegal fireworks from us!”

I know, I know – the majority of fireworks laws are notoriously under enforced, especially on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of July (as well as the nearest weekend).

However, the State Fire Marshall’s website states very plainly:

“It is illegal to transport fireworks across the state line as stated in Nebraska State Statute 28-1248. Only a licensed distributor or jobber may bring fireworks into the state. You may also want to check with the US Department of Transportation regarding any restrictions or requirements they place on transportation of fireworks.”

But the good folks that Fireworks Emporium in Rock Port, MO don’t really care about that.  Neither do the proprietors of the other big fireworks shops in Rock Port or Watson – two small towns in the northwestern corner of Missouri that are a bottle rocket’s flight away from both Nebraska and Iowa.

I wonder if other businesses employ this same strategy – enticing people with products and services that are illegal where they live.

The numerous casino billboards and commercials in Omaha (just across the river from legal casino gaming in Council Bluffs, IA) are the first thing to come to mind.  But there is a key difference:  For the casinos, you actually have to leave your state to utilize the product.  With Rock Port Firework Emporium, you buy them where they are legal, but then you likely transport and use them in a place where they’re prohibited by law.

Now that marijuana is legal in Colorado and Washington, do you think the legal sellers pot are advertising in bordering states?  Is there a billboard in Corvallis, Oregon advertising the Marijuana Emporium in Bordertown, Washington, taunting the locals with promises of the “Really Good Stuff” not available in Oregon?

For the record, I don’t have a problem with the Fireworks Emporium advertising in Nebraska, nor do I really care if product purchased there is blown up here (I will neither confirm nor deny having used bottle rockets inside the borders of the Great State of Nebraska).  But as a fan of advertising, I can’t remember another ad with a similar message.

Ad Review – Walmart – Steak-Over

Campaign: ”Steak-Over”

Campaign Theme in Haiku Format:

Walmart steaks so good
Restaurant diners are fooled?
Um, I’m skeptical.

Visual

Commentary

Okay…where to begin?

From a creative standpoint, this campaign is a clear and blatant rip-off of the classic “we’ve secretly replaced their gourmet coffee with Folger’s crystals” ads from the 70s and 80s.  I like creativity in my advertising.  I want to see something new and fresh, not a rehash of a 35 year old concept.

That said, stealing the Folger’s idea is absolutely brilliant.

Admit it:  when the guy says they’re replacing the steaks in some high-end steakhouse with Walmart steaks, your B.S. detector went off.  I know mine did.  We’re all thinking the same things:  there is no freakin’ way these people could a) not notice and b) actually enjoy it.  I’m guessing this is the same reaction my parents’ generation had when the Folger’s campaign was new.  The underlying message – if the patrons in these fancy-pants places can’t tell the difference, neither will my family – is tough to beat.

But as brilliant as their concept is, it does not work perfectly.

Things have changed quite a bit in the last 30+ years.  We are more skeptical and jaded then we used to be.  Everybody knows that many “reality” TV moments are carefully planned, staged, and even scripted.  Sure, these folks enjoyed their Walmart steaks, but how many other diners knew their meat was not as good as it usually is and sent their steaks back?  The on-screen disclaimer says “Real customers were shown and compensated for their time and participation.”  What does that mean?  Did the folks who raved about Walmart steak walk out with $500 gift cards to Walmart?  Were their reactions really that authentic?  Are we supposed to trust Walmart, a company that just admitted to tricking about of unsuspecting people?

Let’s focus back on their message.  I know the reaction I’m supposed to have is “Walmart steaks are so good I’d never know them from those served in an expensive steakhouse”.  But here is the reaction I had the first time I saw this ad:

“Man, I’d be so pissed if they did that to me.”

Seriously.  Imagine you’re out on a special date at a very nice restaurant.  This isn’t grabbing a bite at Applebee’s, I’m talking about a fancy place with cloth napkins, where you need reservations and probably dress up a little bit.  The kind of place you’re only going to a couple of times a year.  As you and your lovely date sit down at Jimmy Kelly’s Steakhouse, a well-known Nashville restaurant, you scan the dinner menu and decide that you are going to splurge on the ribeye ($36.75, not including sides, drinks, tax, or tip).  For $36.75, I’m expecting a damn good piece of meat, perfectly seasoned and grilled to my exact specifications.  I’m expecting a steak so good that I would never even consider tainting it with a drop of steak sauce.

Instead, they bring you out a piece of meat from Walmart.  Just typing out that scenario makes my blood boil.  I don’t care how delicious it is, I would be so, so mad.

It raises a question:  Why on earth would these well-known steakhouses agree to let Walmart do this?  It is a lose/lose proposition for them.  You either invite years of scrutiny upon your restaurant/chef/food because you knowingly served Walmart steaks.  And if the ad is successful, potential customers realize they can get equal quality beef at Walmart for $7.98 a pound, and have no need to pay you $36.75 for the same thing.  Essentially you have allowed Walmart to use your business to discourage people from using your business.  That is an interesting business strategy, Jimmy Kelly Steakhouse.  I hope you got some big bucks from Walmart.

I know there are some of you thinking that old Folger’s campaign didn’t hurt the business or reputation of those four-star places.  And you’re probably right, but there is a big difference here.

Coffee, while an integral part of a meal for some, is not why people go to a four star restaurant – the food is the reason.  If I go to a fancy place, my fabulous meal is not going to be ruined because I had a cup of mediocre instant coffee.  But that doesn’t hold true for these commercials.  Great steak is the cornerstone of a great steakhouse.  Jimmy Kelly Steakhouse may give me a free dessert for my participation, but every time I walk in there I’ll think about the time they gave me piece of meat that came from a store where the people watching has its own website.

Put it another way – if Folger’s revived their old campaign, do you think Starbucks would allow them to come into their stores and film people saying “This is really good.  Instead of spending $3.75 here for my coffee, I’ll use Folger’s from now on”?  Hell no.

And that is where this campaign ultimately falls apart.  Look:  I know you can get some nice, quality items at Wally-World, and in my experience, their fresh grocery items (meat, deli, produce) are probably on par with most other grocery chains.  But convincing me that a Walmart steak can pass for one at a great steakhouse?  That is just too high of a mountain to climb.

Grade:  D

Lenticular Thinking

I love successful advertising – the convergence of message and medium that directly hits the targeted audience; inspiring them to buy, to act, or to think.

I also love innovation – using existing technology and concepts in new ways.  In the advertising world, that means utilizing different tools and techniques to break through ad clutter, and pinpoint your audience.

And we all love people who protect children, and work to make the world a better place.

This post is about all of these loves, and how the combination is far greater than the sum of its parts.

*   *   *

There is a picture in my father-in-law’s bathroom.

Technically, there are two pictures.  Let me explain:

Instead of a flat canvas, there a few dozen triangular columns jutting out from the surface.  Those two pictures?  They are each lovely beach scenes, but both have been perfectly sliced into quarter-inch wide strips.  The strips for one picture have been pasted to the left side of the triangles, and the other set of strips is on the right side.  So depending on how you view the picture, you see one image, but not the other.

It is a neat little concept – a lenticular, as I have since learned – and it makes for a pretty and unique piece of art.

But I’ve never considered a lenticular as much more than a nice to liven up a bathroom wall.

*   *   *

The problem is real.

All around us, children are being abused.

The problem is important.

How do you reach a child who is being abused?  How do you let them know that abuse they are enduring is not okay?  That they can get the help and protection they need?

Now…how do you communicate this information in front of their abuser without putting the child at greater risk?

The problem must be solved.

*   *   *

This is where the three loves I mentioned above all come together.

I could explain how they converge, but I’ll let this very cool video do the work for me.  It shows how the ANAR Foundation, (a child advocacy organization in Spain) solved the problem:

Seriously, how cool is that?

I absolutely love this.  A brilliant example of how technology meshed with advertising savvy can do great things.  While it is very easy to reduce advertising down to talking animals or bad “but wait, there’s more” pitches, this shows what advertising can be – the combination of clever thinking and unique ideas that hopefully make the world a little better.

Ad Review – Marines – “Toward the Sounds of Chaos”

Company:  United States Marine Corps

Campaign: ”Towards the Sounds of Chaos”

Campaign Theme in Haiku Format:

When things get crazy
Confusion and chaos reign.
Which way would you run?

Visual

Commentary

Yes, this is an older ad (I believe it came out in early 2012), but it was on my mind as I watched the various videos of the bombing at the Boston Marathon.  Every time I saw those horrible scenes of mayhem and terror, I was struck by the men and women – Boston Police, soldiers, civilians – whose first reaction was to run towards the epicenter of the horror.  Watching this ad again, I am struck by how eerily similar the first ten seconds of this commercial are to the videos in Boston after the first bomb went off.  Especially the screaming.

As for the ad itself, I really like this commercial.  It is gritty, it is honest (or as honest as a commercial for an occupation where death, dismemberment, and/or long-term mental illness are distinct possibilities).  Equally as impressive is avoiding most of the “Oorah” machismo that one usually sees in military advertising.  But the most impressive thing this ad does is speak effectively to two entirely different audiences at the same time.

Which way would you run?  The million dollar question that divides our two camps.

Obviously, the primary target audience are those men and women who would intentionally run towards chaos.  Those five little words (accompanied by the point of view video of a Marine running into some serious action) does a better job of explaining what being a Marine is all about than “The few.  The proud.  The Marines.” ever did.  If you brave enough to run to chaos, the Marines would love to talk to you.  If not, the closest you’ll get to being a Marine is a Sunday afternoon showing of “A Few Good Men” on TNT.

There are not too many ads where I am as far removed from the primary target audience as I am here.  Which way would I run?  This will come as no surprise to those who know me, but I am running away from chaos.  Far, far away.  As quickly as possible.  With Costanza-esque disregard for women and children.*

*More realistically, I’m probably going to curl up in the fetal position and hide or pretend to be dead until the threat of danger passes.  But doesn’t allow me the opportunity to link to a Seinfeld clip.  And I think it is slightly more manly to say that I’d run away instead of playing opossum.

I am a coward who has no desire to ever be anywhere close to Marine-level chaos.  And yet, this commercial still has a message for me.  The Marines would like to remind me (and the other chickens in my camp) that one of the reasons we continue to have our freedom, our rights, and our great nation is because there are people courageous enough to move towards evil and work to defeat it.  As we were reminded of in Boston, not all of these heroes are Marines, but the commercial is a good reminder of the debt of gratitude we all owe to those who serve, defend, and protect us.  God bless all of you, and I thank you.

One nit-pick with the ad:  I like the idea of showing the Marines hauling the boxes marked “Aid”, as supplying aid to people impacted by war, tyranny, and disaster is an important part of being in the armed forces.  But the very next image (around 0:36) is of a gunner in the helicopter, who looks like he about to rain bullets down on the folks receiving the aid.  Probably could have transitioned a little better there.  Otherwise, a very strong ad.

Overall Grade:  A

Super Ads II

Last year, I reviewed all of the Super Bowl commercials, and I’m going to do it again.  I’m going to review and rate each of the commercials in the Super Bowl.  I watched the game in real-time (or as close to it as one can get with a wife and three-year old daughter who went to bed somewhere in the 3rd Quarter), compiling notes as I went.  After the game, I went back, using the magic of DVR technology, and took a second, third, and sometimes fourth look.

Let’s get to it…(note – the names of the ads are my own, since I didn’t feel like looking up the names for 50 some ads.  Also, I didn’t link to any of them.  They are all on YouTube if you need to see them again).

FIRST QUARTER

Ad Review – Jack Links Beef Jerky – “Messin’ With Sasquatch”

Company:  Jack Links Beef Jerky

Campaign: “Messin’ With Sasquatch”

Campaign Theme in Haiku Format:

Play pranks on Bigfoot
After eating jerky snack
End up in much pain

Visual

Commentary

For a certain demographic, these commercials have it all:  the great outdoors, hanging with buddies, beefy snack sticks, childish pranks, Bigfoot, and slapstick violence.  For the 16-year-old boy in me, the only thing these commercials are missing is girls in bikinis.

However, I’m not 16 anymore, and the more I watch these commercials, the more I question their efficiency.  Let’s start with the product itself.  What is Jack Links trying to say about their product?  The numerous commercials in this campaign would have me believe one of two things:

1) Jack Links Beef Jerky is the perfect snack for idiots who play childish pranks on freakishly strong, giant woodland creatures

2) Jack Links Beef Jerky makes you do stupid things that end up getting you hurt.

Either way, I’m probably going to pass on the jerky.

I’ll admit the original concept is amusing, but this campaign is quickly running out of steam.  I mean, when you’re out camping with your buddies, do you really pack the gag snakes in a peanut can?

Overall Grade:  C

Thought of the Day – 10/10/2012

The proliferation of cell phones has brought about many bad things (texting while driving, having to listen to conversations everywhere you go, iPhone snobs, etc.)

But there is one area where cell phones have been an absolute blessing:  They have pretty much destroyed the “10-10” services that could be used to call long distance for less than what your phone company charged.

Think back to the end of the last century – every commercial break was filled with ads for some dial-around service (like 10-10-321 or 10-10-220) touting their super low rates for long distance calling.  These ads starred a veritable who’s who of 1990s B-level talent:  John Lithgow, Dennis Miller, Tony Danza, Reginald VelJohnson, and the two mega stars below: