In our online world, the Spelling/Grammar Nazi is one of the absolute worst people you can meet (right behind Always Partisan Guy). The Spelling/Grammar Nazi completely ignores your message, and just focuses on your typos, misspellings, and unfortunate usage of apostrophes to misdirect discussions and discredit you. That guy is annoying.
Trust me, as somebody who runs a website littered with typos, missing words, and a disregard for several punctuation rules, I have little room to talk. Most of my posts are like Disneyland for a Grammar/Spelling Nazi. I understand this.
If you truly believe that you are a Nebraska Football fan, if you “bleed Husker red”, are a “real fan”, and vow to always support the Huskers – and especially if you want ME to believe those things, please for the love of Tom Osborne, do me a favor:
Learn to spell their dadgum names.
Look: I don’t care if you want to post your crazed conspiracy theories of how Bo Pelini released the F-bomb tape himself, how Steve Pederson was bribed by Texas to destroy Husker football, or which member of the national media hates Nebraska this week. (Hint: all of them. They all hate Nebraska).
But from this moment forward, I will immediately stop reading whatever you have to say if your tweet, Facebook comment, message board post, blog, or rant scribbled in crayon contains any of the following:
- Tommy Frazier
- Bo Pellini*
- Harvey Pearlman
- Jason (or Christian) Peters
- Tom Osbourne
- Johnny Rogers
- Jordan Westercamp
- Alex Henry
- Steve Peterson
- So, so many more (feel free to post ones you have seen in the comments)
*I’ll grant a special exception for the use of “Pellllini” (with four “L’s”, get it?). Admittedly, it’s not very clever, but it still gets a pass because it immediately tells me which side of the Bo/No Bo debate you live on. Troll on, Bo-Leaver.
Let’s be clear, I don’t expect you to spell every single Husker player’s name correctly. Names like Ndamukong, Amukamara, and Makovicka aren’t that easy to spell (pro tip: use Google to double-check). Of course, almost everyone will know who you’re talking about if you say “Suh”, “Prince”, or “That kick-ass fullback from Brainard”*
*Okay, that one doesn’t work as there have been two kick-ass fullbacks from Brainard.
Also, I understand that browsers, mobile devices, and apps like to auto-correct your spelling. But I also understand how to edit auto-correct to make it say what I want it to say – or turn it off altogether (again, Google).
I know all of this makes me sound like an hypocritical ass, but I’m at my wit’s end with seeing “passionate, life long fans” screw up the relatively basic names of Husker legends. Seriously folks, it’s not that hard.