Authors’s note: In the course of doing my 8-5 job, I had a need for about 2,500 characters of text so I could test the size limitations of an electronic form*.
*Reason #638 why I don’t write much about my job: my daily tasks are lacking in the excitement category. The task above isn’t very exciting or glamorous, even if the end result will impact any Nebraska motorist involved in an accident.
I didn’t feel like trying to Google some random text, nor did I want to plug in random letters or good old lorem ipsum dolor, so I made my own. The end result amused me enough that I’m going to share it here – in case any other solution engineers out there are in need of a 400 word stream of consciousness for testing a document composition template. It’s a public service, really.
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The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. But why did this happen? Wouldn’t you think a fox, regardless of how quick he might be, would choose to run away from the dog? Foxes don’t strike me as the type of animals to taunt other animals – especially predatory creatures capable of killing them. I understand that foxes don’t have the mental capacity or reasoning ability of humans, but certainly they possess enough sense to flee from a potentially dangerous situation before disaster strikes.
Now, let’s focus on that dog. In my day, I have known and loved many a lazy dog. And I’m talking L A Z Y , lazy. The kind of lazy where you only get up from a nap to take another nap. A brand of lazy where you are likely to fall asleep while eating. But even the laziest of dogs will likely be annoyed by a fox jumping over them. Annoyed enough to likely take action – especially if the dog’s owner is nearby. Because let’s face it, even a lazy dog still needs to maintain his reputation with his owner.
What the fox?
Dogs are subservient pack creatures who ultimately seek the approval of their Alpha. This alpha tends to be the human they know as Master, or (more appropriately) the person who provides the food and water they need to survive, as well as the comfy dog house that keeps them protected from weather. Even the laziest, dumbest, and most worthless of all dogs knows that he would be foolish to jeopardize an arrangement like that by allowing some fool fox to jump over him devil may care.
This, my friends, is where the quick brown fox makes his mistake: he underestimates the dog. His pride, his desire to maintain his standard of living, and most importantly, his ability to catch a quick brown fox in mid-jump and turn him into a stationary dead fox.
Now you may ask yourself why all of this matters, why we’ve covered all of this time and space on quick foxes and lazy dogs. Believe me, that is a fair and valid question. It all boils down to a simple and indisputable truth: It’s damn near impossible to get 2,300 characters of sample text by riffing on Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet. And since we’re about out of space, let’s keeping typing this sentence out until we either run out of space, getting partially chopped off, completely blow up the formatting, or overflow into page two.
Feit Can Write 