Much is being made of the hundreds of Miami Heat fans who poured out of the arena with Miami down four points with less than 30 seconds to go in Game 6 of the NBA Finals. I get it, nothing is more annoying than the “I gotta beat traffic” guy who blocks your view while his wife collects her designer purse.
Miami fans had a crappy reputation already, and this game isn’t going to help. But it may not be fair to paint an entire fan base with one brush. I’m sure some of these fans had valid, completely legit reasons for leaving an epic, gonna-talk-about-it-for-years game before the end. Here are some of those excuses:
- “I wanted to buy a Tony Parker jersey before the game ended to show the world that I’m a longtime Spurs fan.”
- “I wanted to get home and tweet about LeBron not being able to finish what he starts.”
- “I was hoping to catch the last inning of the Marlins game.”
- “I’m more artificial than Cinderella at the ball, so I need to be home before midnight.”
- “I heard there was another bandwagon accepting riders outside.”
- “I’m a horrible fan and likely an awful person.”
- “Miami is all about being seen, so I was just parading around the arena.”
- “Security mentioned that Ray Lewis was back in town, so I needed to get outta there.”
- “Nordstrom’s was having a sale on white pants.”
- “We didn’t leave. Five thousand of us all had to pee at the same time.”
- “I was afraid that Chris Bosh was going to morph into a giant praying mantis and destroy us all.”
- “The dagger of Tony Parker’s three pointer ruptured my boob job / pec implants.”
- “If I let an underprivileged youth sit in my court side seats, I can write them off, so I was going to look for some.”
- “I didn’t want to get a $10 parking ticket on my Mercedes SUV.”
- “I don’t really care about basketball, I just wanted the free ‘white-out’ t-shirt.”
- “It’s LeBron’s fault. If he were more like Jordan, I wouldn’t have left.”
Feit Can Write 