Rejected Nebraska Sports Teams

Yesterday, the University of Nebraska announced that they will be adding a new intercollegiate sport:  women’s beach volleyball*

*Stoic, conservative Tom Osborne has only been retired for a week, and already his replacement (former Miami A.D. Shawn Eichorst) is breaking out girls in bikinis?  Seriously, Shawn – wait until T.O.’s chair is cold.

For an outsider who may not be familiar with Nebraska’s strong volleyball tradition, adding beach volleyball probably seems a little strange; especially considering how the state is over 1,500 miles from any beach more impressive than Linoma Beach.  Heck, I’m born and raised in Nebraska and I think beach volleyball is a rather odd sporting choice for a midwestern school where sand is most commonly found on icy streets.  Cynics will point to a big reason why NU is adding this sport:

Weymouth Beach Volleyball Classic 2007

So many caption ideas.  So few that I should actually type.

But after talking to one of my sources within the Athletic Department, the beach volleyball decision makes more sense.  He was able to share some of the other sports that were considered, but ultimately rejected:

  • Alpine Skiing
  • Surfing
  • Competitive Tanning
  • Foxy Boxing
  • Women’s Ski Jump
  • Debate – in bikinis
  • Polo
  • Marco Polo
  • Pole Dancing
  • Sailing
  • Tackle Football (hey oh!)
  • Men’s Basketball
  • Women’s Jello Wrestling
  • Deep Sea Fishing
  • Drinking Games
  • Snowboarding
  • Waterboarding
  • Ultimate Dirty Old Man (that’s where you try not to feel creepy ogling girls young enough to be your daughter)
  • Academic Decathlon – in bikinis
  • Team Typing (in Stereo)

All joking aside, I think Nebraska should be very successful in this new sport – especially with the amount of volleyball talent already on campus.  I have no idea where they will play (or even who they’ll play against), but I’m guessing the matches will be a well-attended events, except when adidas brings out the throwback uniforms:

Adidas throwback uniforms for the beach volleyball team

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